Chapter Text
Real Name: Leeroy Mateo
Location: Eureka, Missouri
Birth year: 1991¹
Entered the Circus: 2013 (Age 22)²
Leeroy Mateo grew up in Eureka, Missouri.³ He was the only child of a cold, emotionally distant man who had very high standards and most likely abused his his wife and son (both verbally and physically).⁴ Leeroy spent most of his younger years feeling like a disappointment, unable to make his father proud no matter what he did. It was his father's intention for Leeroy to join the military when he was old enough.⁵ In the meantime, Leeroy began learning the piano, taking his lessons seriously in the hope it would impress his father.
It didn't.⁶
Fortunately, his relationship with his mother was better. They got along well, or so he thought at the time. When Leeroy's parents split, his mother seemed to change. Most likely struggling with both the divorce and the trauma of an abusive marriage, Leeroy's mother took her pain out on her son, becoming overly critical of him, constantly comparing him with his absent father. Whenever he showed weakness, she made him feel like he was less of a man. Whenever he lashed out (verbally and/or physically), he was just as bad as him. Jax was confused by her behaviour—how she seemed to both miss and hate his father. How she seemed to both love and hate her son. Growing up, Leeroy had always thought she'd cared about him, which made her treatment of him even worse. It seemed her love was conditional at best, disingenuous at worst.
Leeroy learned to build his walls, carefully constructing a confident, snarky persona to hide his fears and insecurities. His weaknesses. Made to feel stupid at home, he did whatever he could to seem cool and emotionally untouchable in public.⁷
Eventually, Leeroy became fed up with his mother's mistreatment. One fateful night, in an attempt to try and get her off his back, Leeroy told her something deep and personal. Something he hoped would get him off his back. Something he now regrets telling her. Most likely, he opened up to her about his struggles with depression/mental health as that is something his mother would perceive as 'weakness.'⁸ In response to this vulnerable confession, his mother laughed at him before proceeding to grow angry, belittling and berating him. A cruel defence mechanism to avoid personal responsibility for the pain she caused. Finally, in a moment of compassion that was too little, too late, she gave him a hug which affected him the worst of all.
Utterly devastated by her cruel mockery and subsequent attempt to comfort him, Leeroy retaliated, lashing out at her with violence, just like he’d seen his father do so many times before. Fearing what he’d done, and the consequences that might ensue, Leeroy fled the house in a panic, stole a car, and sped away into the night.
For a while, he sought refuge where he could. In the car, on the streets, by the side of the road. Eventually, he sought shelter in an abandoned building where—desperate, fearful, and hungry—he came across a peculiar headset…⁹
FOOTNOTES
¹ In ep 9, Jax gives us the quote 'Reality's gay.' Calling something 'gay' in a derogatory way was popular in the late 90's/early 2000's indicating that Leeroy is probably a millennial
² We know that Jax entered the circus sometime between 2008 (when Ragatha entered, as shown by the files in ep 8) and 2017 (which has been confirmed as the year the show takes place). It has also been confirmed that Jax is 22 years old. Leeroy's late 2000's emo-boy aesthetic, coupled with the final season of Breaking Bad (which Jax references in ep 5) coming out in 2013, indicates he most likely entered the circus in the early 2010s
³ This can be inferred from the house shown in the flashbacks in ep 7—a real place located in Eureka, Missouri
⁴ Jax never mentions any siblings. From ep 9, we know that his father was known to lash out. It's highly likely that at least some of Jax's worst traits (like the way he treats Gangle and the others) are an echo of the way his father used to treat him and his mother
⁵ In ep 9, when delving into Jax's psyche, we see a brief image of him wearing an army uniform
⁶ In episode 9, when delving into Jax's psyche, we see him chained to a piano. He attempts to interject himself into the conversation by desperately pointing out the fact he can play the piano, only to be scorned by the others. One of them tells him to just shut up and play, hurling a bottle at him which smashes into white-noise—the same effect used when we see Leeroy's IRL (potentially) dead Mum, indicating that this particular interaction may stem from a real incident that happened between Leeroy and his father
⁷ All of this is mostly speculation based on trauma psychology, but it would definitely go a long way to explain (but not excuse) Jax's personality and behaviour in the circus
⁸ What he told his mother that night is never explained. Jax doesn't tell Ribbit, no clues are ever dropped, and it doesn't come back up again. What he revealed isn't actually all that important to his character. What's important is that the last time he was open with someone who was supposed to care for him, he got hurt from it, and caused hurt in response
⁹ We know that Leeroy was homeless when he entered the circus. We also know that at this point, the C&A building was abandoned, making it an ideal shelter for someone seeking refuge