CrystalMyst
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Let Them Choke on It: A Triad’s Guide to Crisis Management by CrystalMyst
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
17 Jun 2026
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Theo Nott’s reputation is in the gutter, courtesy of yet another entirely accidental tabloid scandal. His best friends (Wizarding Britain’s most bafflingly perfect couple, Draco and Hermione Malfoy) propose a radical solution: come to the Summer Solstice Gala as their joint date. The revelation of a shiny new triad will be sure to distract the press.
“Think about it: the three of us walk in together, looking perfectly happy and perfectly matched. We drink, we dance, we dine, and we go home together. No one would bother to ask you about Wood; they’ll be too busy watching us all night. We’ll shove it down their throats, let them choke on it.”
OR: one scandal, three messy idiots, and a "fake date" that changes everything
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We Should Fuck (& Maybe More): An Empirical Study by CrystalMyst
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
08 May 2026
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Draco stared at the screen. Or, more accurately, the words on the screen. His face lax and unreadable, he looked from Hermione back to where the title glowed in clean black letters.
Why We Should Fuck (& Maybe More): An Empirical Study
He looked at her like she’d grown another head, or a tail, or declared she was in love with the elderly and deaf Ministry archivist, Agnes Brocklehurst. He looked pained, but somehow managed to keep his tone light and casual. “So, what’s all this then?”
“What does it look like? I have a proposal to discuss.”
“With that title?”
“Yes.”
“And this is the personal project you wanted to discuss with… me. I am… one of the ‘we’?”
“Well, I wasn’t planning to present it to McLaggen.”
OR
Hermione gets tired of waiting, and makes a slide deck to convince Draco that he wants her.
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Draco Malfoy has always been a glutton for punishment, but he never imagined it could be quite this rewarding.
Dragged into a bar on the night Hermione Granger is running her charity confessional, he watches her dish out judgement to witches and wizards with a cutting remark, a splashed drink, and a hard slap. It should be entertaining from a safe distance — except Draco's never been particularly good at maintaining safe distances where Granger is concerned. To Theo's great disappointment, soon he's on stage confessing while she delivers exactly the kind of humiliation he's been craving since third year.
What he doesn't expect is to end up in a dank alley with her, discovering his years of tragic pining haven't gone quite as unnoticed as he'd thought.
Some punishments, it seems, are better administered in private.
He was losing control. He didn’t care.
“Slap me,” he rasped, his gaze locked on hers, grey eyes blown wide. The words tumbled from his mouth, his voice ragged and wrecked with desperation. “Again. Like on stage.”
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(COMPLETE: 3 chapter novella)
Hermione Granger and Theodore Nott are curse breakers, business partners, and best-friends-with-benefits. They take a lucrative Ministry contract that comes with the unfortunate requirement to bring along Draco Malfoy, the emotionally repressed warding expert who broke Theo's heart years ago.
Now our heroes find themselves locked in an unplottable 16th-century Scottish cottage that suppresses their magic whenever they bicker, but conveniently restocks the wine cellar every day. As days of forced proximity bleed into weeks, tightly wound boundaries finally unravel even though the wards stay firm. Old wounds are broken open, hidden desires are dragged into the candlelight, and they realize what it means to have everything.
"This is the most civilised captivity I've ever experienced," Theo announced, leaning back with a glass of red wine.
Hermione stabbed a roasted potato with unnecessary precision. "You've been imprisoned often then?"
"Only consensually, you know. I do so like to be bound," he responded with a grin aimed at Draco, blatant in his attempt to get a rise out of him.
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Hermione stopped walking. Her eyes scanned back up the roster until they found the name that she initially mistook for a typo.
Draco Malfoy….Beater.
She could comprehend the words, the name and the meaning. She understood that his name being on the roster meant he was the starting Beater for England’s national team, but for whatever reason, when her eyes ran over the black ink, her brain could not articulate any emotions or reaction.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 58,875
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Comments:
- 717
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- 12,446
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Bookmarked by CrystalMyst
26 Jun 2026
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Draco Malfoy is the Quidditch League's most controversial Chaser. Fast, ruthless, and untouchable on the field. Off the field, though? A walking scandal. He’s got a penchant for illegal broom-racing, starting brawls, and partying like the end is nigh. Now, with sponsors threatening to pull out and the League ideating his suspension, his team’s legacy is circling the drain. The solution? PR rehab. Ministry-backed and painfully public.
Enter: Hermione Granger. She’s the Ministry’s Saint Swot and the face of the Magical Community Unity Initiative, a campaign to promote post-war healing through charity, outreach, and celebrity involvement. For maximum impact (and maximum headache), she has to work with none other than notorious bad boy Draco Malfoy aka Malfoy the Menace.
For six long months, they’re stuck together doing programmes, galas, photoshoots, tense interviews, and a joint weekly column in The Daily Prophet. Cue the bickering, untimely erections, and locker room confrontations. It’s bad boy meets good girl. It’s ripe with sexual tension. It’s the cliché you love.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 140,170
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Comments:
- 1,029
- Kudos:
- 3,290
- Bookmarks:
- 1,320
- Hits:
- 142,902
Bookmarked by CrystalMyst
26 Jun 2026
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[Podfic] Inhabit by FanFixation (SequesteredAudio)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
04 May 2024
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“There’s no way.” Hermione prided herself in always keeping an open mind, but even she had limits on what she’d take someone’s word on.
Across the small pub table, Draco looked amused and undeterred. “I’m not sure why you sound so surprised.”
“A full orgasm?” she reiterated skeptically. “From start to finish?”
As he sipped his pint, he flicked his brows once in acknowledgement that, yes, that’s what he’d meant.
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Or where Hermione refuses to take Draco at his word.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 6
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- 43
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- 8
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- 2,469
Bookmarked by CrystalMyst
26 Jun 2026
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The Pansy Parkinson Matchmaking Initiative by bloom_wildly
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
19 Jun 2026
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Becoming best friends with Pansy Parkinson was not something Hermione saw coming.
Her carefully ordered life is turned upside down when Pansy discovers just how tragically single she is and appoints herself Hermione’s matchmaker in chief. There’s just one problem: Pansy is hell bent on setting her up with Draco Malfoy.
Clearly, Pansy has lost the plot if she ever thinks that could work.
But then she runs into Draco again and realises he’s nothing like she remembers. He’s charming, kind and annoyingly attractive.
Could Pansy actually be onto something here? Or will this be a total disaster?
“How is me being perpetually single wonderful?”
“Because,” said Pansy slowly, as if she was explaining something to a toddler. “It means I get to fix this for you.”
“No! Absolutely not. I forbid it. I can’t have you meddling about in my love life… it’s too embarrassing.”
Pansy laughed so hard she nearly spilled her drink all over the table. “You forbid it? Oh I’d like to see you try, darling.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 83,117
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Comments:
- 266
- Kudos:
- 279
- Bookmarks:
- 120
- Hits:
- 13,683
Bookmarked by CrystalMyst
24 Jun 2026
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Control isn't the only thing Draco Malfoy has lost. But he will get it back. He will get everything back.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 426,554
- Chapters:
- 34/34
- Collections:
- 16
- Comments:
- 4,837
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- 8,620
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- 3,830
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- 786,541
Bookmarked by CrystalMyst
23 Jun 2026