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Shoko leri wasn't one for permanence. Being a jujutsu sorcerer meant instability in the people and environment she worked with. That is, before she met Suguru and Satoru. They became a part of her routine. Every class, every hangout, and sometimes almost every mission. Along with Haibara and Nanami, they became an integral part of her life sooner and more than she would admit. The stark difference in her offensive power compared to them didn't deter her; it instead encouraged her to become stronger in her practice of reversed cursed technique. Spending her high school days with them allowed her to imagine a peaceful life outside cursed techniques and sorcerers. Maybe she could experience a normal life too? She's living at the same time with two of the strongest sorcerers of the modern world after all.
Life, however, had other plans. Somewhere along the way, they drifted apart. She tried to understand; she could only imagine the struggles and woes of being hailed the strongest. She thought she could help them when things went wrong. But how could she, when both Suguru and Satoru were now too far away to reach. When did it start? When Satoru got assigned to more and more missions by himself? When Suguru became reclusive and aloof? When they both came back from their last mission together? Or is it when she decided that supporting them from behind was the absolute best?
But supporting them shouldn't mean she had to be the one to perform an autopsy report on Habara's lifeless body. It shouldn't mean she had to be covered in soot from what was once Nanami's burned body. She shouldn't have to wonder what happened to Suguru's body after Satoru fought him. She shouldn't be the one to uncover Satoru's body on the operating table. How did it end up like this? If only she had stopped Haibara from going on a mission. If only she had fought in Shibuya. If only she reached out to Suguru more. If only she treated her moments with Satoru as her last. She swore to protect everyone with her reversed cursed technique, but it didn't protect anyone she loved. They're so unfair; why is she the only one left behind? She was there too, wasn't she?