Chapter Text
If you’d think a simple game of uno couldn’t take no longer than an hour to finish you’d be wrong.
“Caine I know we allowed you to play with us but that doesn’t mean you can make up your own rules.”
Zooble tried explaining this to Caine many times but he seemed keen on indulging his own wacky insights into the very simple game.
“UNO!”
“Oh- no Kinger you still have 3 cards left,” Ragatha pointed out.
“Oh my,” Kinger looked down to notice his many cards still left. “I guess I do huh? Well should I play them or-“
Ragatha stopped him before he placed a card down before it was his turn. It wasn’t even the correct color. Also shouldn’t he draw cards due to his false callout?
Pomni chuckled softly. She knew he was less crazy than before but this was still the Kinger they get to deal with every day.
Speaking of everyday, ever since they got the freedom to pretty much do whatever they want life here hasn’t been all that bad. I mean except when they’ve been stuck on one game of uno for the past 2 hours.
Pomni looked over to her left to see Gangle trying to back up Zooble with their ongoing dispute against Caine. To her right she could see Ragatha smiling concerningly as she tried to help Kinger.
“Draw 2 Caine,” Zooble placed down a draw 2 card.
“Well shouldn’t the reverse card mean it goes back to you and you draw 2 cards?”
“Zooble should we just follow his rules he’s not listening,” Gangle insisted as she was slowly reaching her breaking point.
“I’ve been explaining the rules to him this whole time and I- Caine you can’t place a blue card on top of a green card,” Zooble sighed in disappointment as she placed her head in her hands.
‘Ok this game has gone on for way too long.’
“Hey guys I think we probably should just end the game here,” Pomni suggested as she placed her cards down slowly.
“Yea, I agree with Pomni. This has been fun though guys, no really,” Ragatha exclaimed.
“I also agree. Sorry Caine, maybe we can play another time while following your wacky rules,”
Caine smiled brightly at Zoobles' suggestion.
“Alright then it’s settled! We’ll continue this wacky game of cards another time! You all can do as you please while I-“ he paused for dramatic effects. “have a game of One to plan!” Then he proofed away
“Weren’t we playing Uno..?” Gangle asked, confused.
Every once in a while the circus members will play something Caine designed. As in a way to pass time or not make Caine feel horrible about himself.
Pomni never had a problem with this. It’s not like he always made horrible adventures. She actually did enjoy some.
Pomni, seeing as everyone was getting up, excused herself to her room. With a wave goodbye from everyone else she decided that a nap would be best for her right now.
She knows her body doesn’t necessarily need sleep. If there’s something she’d change, she’d fix how her circus body responds to exhaustion. She can recall many times where she wished her body could just pass out from peer exhaustion instead of having to force her body to sleep.
The walk to the hallway with all of their rooms was peaceful. Pomni focused on the soft sounds of her shoes on the floor, counting each step as she does. It was just something dumb to focus on rather than how suspiciously quiet it was around her.
Once she reached the hallway her smile dropped as she didn’t have to hide anymore.
It’s not like she’s been faking her happiness. She is definitely doing way better in the circus than before. There’s just been this gnawing feeling of emptiness flowing inside her that she can’t seem to fix.
She walked down the hallway, examining each door marked with a red X.
Passing Ragatha's door she paused for a second.
‘I wonder if Ragatha has been sleeping better. It’s weird thinking about how she or, well, really anyone hasn’t woken up to centipedes or random objects in their room.’
It can’t be normal to be thinking about this. These pranks caused Ragatha so much stress. She wouldn’t miss it, not at all.
‘Zooble barely ever cusses anymore. I mean it’s not like that’s good or bad… I guess I just got used to it.’
When she heard a loud crash behind her she couldn’t help herself but jump from the impact. Quickly turning around just to see it was some random star shaped gloink rolling down the hallway.
She paused suddenly realizing that she made it to where she needed to be. But wait, why is she on the opposite side of the hallway?
Pomni knew what she was looking at. But no matter how much she tried she couldn’t pry her eyes away.
‘I need to go. I need to just make it to my room. Why can’t I look away? Why is this happening to me?’
She couldn’t look away from his door. This is why the circus has been so empty. Isn’t it. There’s no more worry about getting hit in the face or getting pushed off the edge. No more worry about some asshole ruining the adventure.
‘Maybe I just haven't been with this painful version of jax long enough to be relieved by his absence. Surely not everyone could be this relieved. Right?’
Pomni walked closer to his door, looking up at the red mark that covered his face.
She couldn’t admit this to the others. How could she? Everyone hated Jax she should’ve as well.
Looking around she was brought back to that one day they spent together, participating in a gun adventure. She couldn’t admit that that adventure was the most free she has felt here.
Tears prickled in the corners of her eyes as she tried to extensively blink them away. She can’t cry no more, moving on was the only option. Everyone else has gone through worse, Kinger and Ragatha being here the longest, seeing much more of their friends being taken over with abstraction.
She still doesn’t know much about how each one ended up abstraction. But she does know the main cause was them not getting the help they needed.
Pomni suddenly had an idea and grabbed the door handle to his room.
‘What does happen to the rooms once they’ve abstracted. I’ve never been inside one. Is it even possible to unlock?’
She twisted the handle that same second and to her dismay it was in fact locked.
“Well shit..” Pomni thought, she was stupid to think it would just be unlocked as his door was always locked to begin with.
She backed away from the door in disappointment. She wasn’t sure what she was gonna do if the door was able to be opened. She was hoping she could at least, just maybe, find something that could ease her mind from all of these painful thoughts.
She didn’t want to talk or even think about the day when she was with Jax in his abstracted form. After she learned about his past and everything that led up to this moment. Pomni determines then that she is set on learning more about him, as she failed to when he was around. Failed to see what was wrong. Failed to hel-
“Hey Pomni! Hold up, I'll be right there!” She heard Ragatha calling from the front of the hallway as she quickly walked towards her. Pomni immediately backed away from the door and tried to pretend that she was just about to open hers.
“Oh, hey Ragatha,” Pomni tried her best to act like she wasn’t just going through an emotional crisis. “I was just about to go to bed because, well, you know today was a lot. It totally made me exhausted.” Pomni reminded herself at that moment that she extremely needed to work on her lying skills.
“Oh, no worries Pomni, I was just coming to say goodnight. I was also planning on trying to sleep a little extra tonight,” Ragatha chuckled awkwardly, causing Pomni to worry a bit.
“Everything is alright though? Caine wasn’t too much for you today? Or Zooble? Or me?”
“What? No no, today was fine, I’m just..” Pomni looked away for a moment quickly gazing at Jax’s door. “Ok I’ll admit, I haven’t been sleeping too well. I’m not fully sure why but I think I just need to reset my mind or something with more rest.”
“Oh no! I’m so sorry to hear that Pomni. I hope you feel better in the morning,” Ragatha smiled. Even though she seemed sincere Pomni could still tell there was a look of concern and worry on her face.
With that though, Pomni waved Ragatha goodnight and walked into her room. Quickly shutting the door behind her as she couldn’t hold back her emotions anymore.
When was the last time she even cried like this? She thought she was doing good with grieving but apparently not.
She couldn’t even explain why she felt this way. It wasn’t like Jax was always nice to her. He hurt her as well. Why is she in so much pain?
“Isnt it funny.” Pomni softly whispered to herself. “Isn’t it so funny how you were ahead of the game only to be the one to fall.”
Pomni also thought about how funny it was that she was crying over someone down right awful. Well, she wouldn't specifically think of him that way. She knows partly why he was like that. It’s a pain that she has kept to herself as she thought the others wouldn’t care to know. Or maybe she was just keeping it to herself for other reasons.
Pomni noticed herself slowly dosing off to sleep by her door so she walked towards her tall bed, shutting off the lights on the way, and climbed into her bed to try to possibly get one full night of sleep.
“You weren’t supposed to care”
“It’s too late now”
“You weren’t supposed to love me.”
Pomni awoke abruptly, opening her eyes to stare at her red and blue dark ceiling. Dread fills her as she knows that this is the most sleep she’ll be able to get tonight. Looking over at the clock on the places on the wall opposite of her bed she saw it was 2 in the morning.
Pomni slowly got out of bed and sat at the edge with her feet hanging off the side. She hated how quiet it felt, of course it's night and everyone should be sleeping, but still. It felt way too quiet for her liking.
What does she do now? She knows just trying to shut her eyes and sleep won’t work. Looking around her room she spotted her vanity and that’s when she remembered what she was wanting to do before she went to bed.
She got up from her bed and started opening her drawers in her vanity till she found it. It was a pack of Bobby pins and safety pins that she found from some fashion adventure. She didn’t know what impulsed her to steal them at the time she did but she is sure grateful right now that she has them.
She slowly opened her door, trying her best to make the least noise as possible, and quickly walked towards Jax’s door. Without thinking she immediately pulled out a bobby pin and started trying to unlock the door. As she actually has never done this before.
‘God this is gonna look so stupid if this doesn’t even work and I get caught trying. If each room has a key there has to be a way to pick the locks.’
Pomni was losing her patience as she threw the now broken bobby pin to the floor.
‘Think, think, think, God, I’ve watched so many movies about crime. Why can’t I remember how to do this?’
Her breathing was getting louder as her emotions got slowly out of control. Stepping back she took a deep breath and picked up another two bobby pins and tried again.
She’s sure there’s at least another circus member who knows how to do this. But how would she bring this up to them? They’d just be curious as to what she wants to unlock as everything needed for them is always out in the open.
“You’re doing it all wrong. You seriously don’t remember anything I’ve told you?”
Pomni froze. Why? Why does she hear him? She seriously can't be hallucinating him while she is conscious and awake. She looked around though and couldn’t see any signs of Jax anywhere. Oh great so he’s just stuck in her head.
“I thought you understood how unrealistic this place Pomni is. Did my gun shooting lessons slip your mind or something?”
“No, of course not.” Pomni assured in her quietest voice possible. “I still remember that day like it was yesterday, I'm just..” Pomni had to hold her hand in front of her mouth to force herself to not let out another scream as the bobby pin broke once again.
All of a sudden the circus got colder.
She wasn’t hallucinating him but she could just imagine Jax standing right beside her with sheer disappointment.
“You’re thinking too hard Pomni. How hard could it be to unlock a digital lock?”
She felt less cold now as she stared at her hand holding the broken bobby pin in her hand.
How could she forget? The one thing that changed her view of the circus forever. The one thing that truly brought her out of her anxious shell. None of this is real.
She of course didn't fully believe it at that moment. But now, after learning why they are here it’s easier to accept that this is just some winky cartoon world.
Not even bothering to switch out the broken bobby pin, she put it in the lock and just started moving it around. Closing her eyes she imagined herself not caring in the slightest of what she was doing until.
Click
Pomni opened her eyes to see that she was now able to twist the handle open. Straightening up she tried to push the door open but her body didn’t seem to let her. She knows that if Jax was still here this wouldn’t be something he’d like. Pomni didn’t exactly know what she wanted to do in his room, she was just hoping that it would help how she’s been feeling. She never got a chance to truly learn about him. His hobbies, what he likes, his dislikes. Maybe she can find at least some sort of information that gives Pomni an idea of what he was like before. When he had Ribbit and Kaufmo and wasn’t faking everything.
‘Ok no more standing around. Sorry Jax for invading your privacy like this. I’m sure you’d understand why I’m doing this.’
She opened his door and placed her hands on the wall trying to find any sort of light switch. When she found one it ended up being connected to a soft looking lamp across the room. Seeing how she is able to see fairly well with only the lamp on she shut the door behind her and was finally able to take in her surroundings.
Pomni didn’t know what she was expecting. But surely not this. Purple and pink colored walls with rainbow decorations scattering the room. It was like a childhood room any girl could wish for. She remembered how defending Jax was about his masculinity. And also considering how unfit Pomni’s room is for her, having to climb up onto her bed and every piece of furniture being almost taller than her, she had a feeling that his room was designed simply to torture him. Just like how mirrors cover Zoobles walls and how Ragatha's room is identical to her childhood room outside of the circus.
Jax had a decently sized bed in the back corner and a couple bookshelves around the room. Looking up though is where she found many tiny glow in the dark stars taped to the ceiling. The biggest thing that caught her eye was the arrangement of blank photos pinned to the wall by Jax’s bed.
She walked over to check it out. Turns out they aren’t blank, they are just turned over. There was one photo though that caught her eye.
Pomni climbed up onto Jax’s bed to try and get a closer look at the photo that wasn’t turned over. It was a photo of Jax and who she’d assume to be Kaufmo and Ribbit beside him. They’re in the cafe all holding hot chocolates. Pomni started at Jax specifically in the photo, rubbing her thumb over his smile. A smile that she’ll never be able to see again.
‘Are all of these photos of them 3?’
Pomni wanted to look at the rest of them but she was so worried about invading too much of his privacy.
‘He's not here anymore. There's no more privacy you can evade. It’s not like you’ll get caught by him.’
With this Pomni sat up straight and flipped over the closest blank photo near her.
It was a picture of Ribbit and Jax and they appear to be in a photo booth. Ribbit has a cardboard sign with a mustache and Jax had on some star shaped sunglasses. They both looked like they were having the time of their life. Seeing Jax in these old photos looking genuinely happy warmed Pomni’s heart. She wouldn’t admit it but this was actually helping her a little with her situation.
There were about 10 other photos on the wall. What’s the harm if she were to look at them all?
She flipped over another one to see Jax and Kaufmo wearing outdoor styled hats on a dock out by the lake. Kaufmo had a fishing pool and Jax seemed to be waving to the camera. Maybe Ribbit was the one who took the photo.
Another photo was taken by Ribbit in a 0.5 style as Ribbit's arm was the most visible. The three of them were outside on a picnic blanket. Even in the background you could see Ragatha and Kinger talking together.
Flipping over another one it looked like they were at an arcade adventure. Jax and Ribbit were celebrating as they had won a stuffed yellow bear from a claw machine. Pomni giggled at the reflection of Kaufmo in the reflection of the machine taking the photo.
Every other photo was similar to the others. All three of them on different adventures, enjoying each other's company and making the most out of the life they had here. A couple even had Ragatha and Kinger more visible in them.
There was one last photo Pomni could flip over. It was at the foot of his bed so she crawled over to reach it. Seeing what was on the other side surprised her.
It was Jax and Ribbit sitting on a bench outside of the tent. They were both looking up, probably at the stars, and Ribbit's head was leaning on Jax’s shoulder. In the bottom corner of the photo someone had written “dumbasses”, most likely Kaufmo took this photo in secret and wrote that.
Kaufmo was right, they were especially close.
‘Jax. You must have really liked her didn’t you..’
Pomni wasn’t sure how she should feel right now. She’d never know for sure how he felt about her but god, even after seeing his flashbacks it was so obvious how close they were. At least they were together again.
‘He should be here with me.’
What? No way her mind is playing this on her. Jax was in a lot of pain. Him still being here wouldn’t fix anything. He deserves to be with Ribbit and Kaufmo again so stop being so selfish Pomni.
She let go of the photo. Should she feel proud of herself for being able to look at all of these or should she feel ashamed?
She moved around to the other side of the bed so her feet could hang off of it and something caught her eye. It was the same yellow bear that Jax had won in one of the photos.
She sat up and walked over to it to inspect it.
She could tell it wasn’t brand new as its fur was visible more dirty and worn out as it was in the photo. Whether it was Ribbits or Jax's, this bear had been slept with a lot.
She took the bear back to his bed and sat it next to her. She smiled softly as she felt tears prickling in her eyes.
‘No more crying, you've already cried enough tonight. You’ll be alright. He’ll be alright. Everything will be ok.’
Pomni grabbed the bear and hugged it to her chest. She then layed down in his bed, facing the all with all of the photos. She could just stay here for a little bit then she’ll go bad to her room.
What she didn’t expect was her need to sleep to finally come back as she finally felt exhausted again. Closing her eyes and hugging herself closer to the bear. She silently sobbed as she finally got a full night's rest.
Although she didn’t notice it herself. The stars on the ceiling were glowing brighter than ever before.