Chapter Text
"URGH, URGH, URGH," the sudden sound of a broken alarm clock jolts Baldi awake. He's thrown it one too many times for the alarm clock to sound normal, like he cares anyway. "It gets the job done," Baldi thinks to himself.
He quickly sits up, looking over to his right at his bedroom window that glistens with morning dew. The bright sun blared right where Baldi had previously lain his head. "Just my luck," he huffs in his mind, his eyes rolling like the sassy diva he is. If it's not for his annoying alarm clock, it's the sun doing the job for it. And before you ask, "Why not just get curtains?" He has them, but the sun shines through them regardless. Like the school even pays him enough to NOT get discount curtains... ANYWAY.
Before his alarm clock starts chirping (more like choking) up some more, Baldi swiftly turns it off. He lets out a disgruntled sound as he stands up. God, he's getting old. He makes his way through his morning routine, the one he's cultivated for years. Morning tinkle, coffee with toast, brush teeth, BRUSH HIS LONG LUCIOUS HAIR THAT HE 100% HAS (he just combs his strand), and then he's out the door.
He's never missed a day of work or even been late. The exception being traffic, which Baldi despises with every fiber of his being. He fumbles with his car keys, trying to unlock his crimson car door, only to drop his keys. "Heyyy..." he lets out in annoyance as he picks up his keys from the ground below his car. "Quit it," he scolds to his own car keys, his nosey neighbor looking over in confusion. Baldi tries his best to ignore him as he finally unlocks his car door.
"Heya, Baldi!" The neighbor waves as he stands by his open car door across the street. Baldi sighs to himself and then musters a polite, "Hi," with a quick wave before getting into his car. And just like that, Baldi pulls out of his driveway, praying to beat the morning traffic he's dreading.
As he stops at his first traffic light, he flips through the various radio stations until he lands on one that begins to play, "Kiss Me," by Sixpence None the Richer. A content smile spreads across his face as he rolls his window down. The light turned green, and luckily, there's little to no traffic up ahead. Baldi turns up the song to full volume as he speeds down the road, his strand of hair flowing in the wind. (Inside the speed limit, Baldi can't risk getting pulled over)
"KISS ME... BENEATH THE MILKY TWILIGHT, LEAD ME... OUT ON THE MOONLIT FLOOR..." Baldi belts out like his heart depends on it. It was a nice, sunny morning, and the air was the right amount of crisp. Though as the song is nearing its end, Baldi seemed to finally catch up with the traffic. "SO KISS ME..." Baldi sings at full volume as he meets the surrounding cars. A man in the car adjacent to him had his window rolled down and gave an awkward look to him. Baldi lightly blushed as the outro faded out and made sure to look ahead at the light. "Out of sight, out of mind," Baldi thought to himself.
After an additional 10 minutes of driving, Baldi finally pulls into the school parking lot. He noticed there weren't as many cars in the parking lot as usual, but he assumed maybe traffic got the best of them, too. Baldi is normally the second or third teacher to arrive, but the principal is always there first. At least he's here....
Baldi walks into the school with classroom keys in hand to unlock his door, but the principal pipes up before he can.
"Hello, good morning, Baldi." There's a slight tone of confusion in his voice.
"Oh, hello! Good morning," Baldi replies, startled by the abrupt greeting.
"Did you receive my email?"
"Email...?" Baldi repeats to himself out loud...
"Yes, I sent out an email to all teachers that school would be cancelled for the day."
Baldi contemplates this information, thinking long and hard if there's a distant memory of this email in that brain of his.
The principal sees the utter confusion on Baldi's face and assumes he somehow didn't receive it. "We're refurbishing the school. I know the talk of setbacks has been ongoing, but today is finally the day. You should enjoy the rest of your day. You deserve it, Baldi." His voice grows higher at the end of his sentence in admiration.
It finally clicks in his head why he didn't receive the email. "OH! My wifi... it acts like it's running on a potato sometimes!"
The principal awkwardly chuckles. Baldi then registers the principal's words, and a slight blush forms across his cheeks.
"Ah... jeez! Thank you, principal!" He rubs his strand of hair back in a bashful way.
"You're welcome, Baldi. I'll see you next Monday." The principal holds out his finger as he speaks.
"See ya later!" Baldi exclaims with a wiggly wave as he makes his way to the exit door.
The principal lets out a soft sigh to himself, watching Baldi leave the building. If only he knew...
"Welp... what to do..." Baldi thinks to himself as he makes it back to his car. He settles back into his driver's seat, admiring the "various" shapes of the clouds in the sky. "That one looks like a butt!" He softly chuckles to himself. He snaps out of it and reminds himself he has to leave the school parking lot... but where would he go? Home? Too boring. Barney and Parny's Pub? Oh, right... he got banned from there. Long story... let's just say there's a reason why Baldi doesn't let himself get drunk too often... the party animal comes alive. Or he'll be a sobbing mess instead, rag dolling all over the bar floor. There's probably a YouTube video of it somewhere, which Baldi WILL NOT dare look up that possibility.
"OOO!" Baldi exclaims, "the park! It's the perfect day for a picnic in the park!"
Baldi turns his car on, pulling out of the school parking lot and making his way to the store first. If only he could share the day with someone... but as long as he can relax, he'll be okay.
Baldi was indecisive, seeing all the options of fresh produce, snacks, or the long array of sodas. He hasn't been on a picnic since childhood, one of his fondest memories. He gathers up a few bags of his favorite snack; he CANNOT have a picnic without his delectable cheese doodles. Let's just say he opted for just strawberries and cheese doodles; he didn't want to have an existential crisis in the store, debating various options for hours. Plus, cheese and strawberries go well together, right? Remy the rat liked it... so it must be good! He sees his advertisement billboards everywhere around the city, strawberries and cheese surrounding him. His cheese doodles are close enough... His thoughts are interrupted by the self-checkout beep of his card being ready to take out. Surprised it didn't decline... He gets back in his car and makes his way to the park.
After pulling into the parking lot, he takes in the scenery ahead. A lively scene of greenery, rows of flowers decorating the well-kept grass, couples sharing the day, and others walking their pets. Baldi steps out of his car, and a content smile spreads across his face as he heads to his trunk. He grabs his red and black checkered blanket, his snacks, and shuts his trunk. He starts walking to the park's cobblestone path ahead. OOP. Can't forget his BSODA, he doesn't want to start choking on dry cheese doodles, especially in a park surrounded by others. He turns around to retrieve it, but of course, the drink rolled under the driver's seat. While his tush was high in the air, reaching underneath the seat...
*POKE* "Hm...?" Baldi paused, wondering if his own brain was playing tricks on him. He tried to resume what he was doing, until... *POKE* Baldi whipped his head to his ankle, revealing... SOMEONE'S PET IGUANA was poking his ankle with its nose. The red leash was still attached to its neck, but with no owner in sight. "What the..." Baldi uttered out loud, looking around frantically for the owner. *POKE* This thing was adamant. "Just a sec..."
Baldi quickly searches for his BSODA underneath his seat; hopefully, it doesn't explode all over him when he opens it. "Got it!" Baldi shouts victoriously, holding it up in the air. The iguana whips its head up to the soda, its eyes locking in on what he has. "Oh, no no no. This isn't for iguanas, little guy..." Baldi chuckles, then corrects himself. "Well... big guy. You're... not little, that's for sure..." The iguana blankly stares at him, blinking twice. "Right..."
Baldi contemplatively rubs his strand of hair back, searching around for who the potential parent could be. He sees onlookers curiously observing him, probably assuming he brought his iguana to the park. "Well... looks like it's just you and me... uh." He pauses, not knowing its name, "...Charles. You look like a Charles." The iguana goes to poke his ankle again, but not before Baldi wraps his hand around the leash. "No more pokes, Charles, c'mon. Let's go find your mama or papa."
With his snacks and drink safely tucked in his blanket in one hand, he firmly holds onto Charles' leash in the other. He shuts his car door with his foot and makes his way to the cobblestone path ahead. "WOW," Baldi exclaims as Charles picks up speed excitedly, his nails scraping against the gravel with each little run. Those "little" runs cause Baldi to stumble. Baldi is praying they don't accidentally bump into someone; he's already getting enough stares as it is.
Then... just up ahead, a voice emerges. "HEY. HEYYY," A woman waves running toward Baldi's direction, Charles happily picks up speed. Think we found mama already.
Baldi nervously chuckles as she catches her breath, a mix of fatigue and relief on her face as she looks down at the iguana. "There you are! You little rascal..." She bends down as the iguana smiles and hops excitedly. Baldi isn't familiar with pets, and his apartment won't let him have one of his own. He's possibly rethinking this after this experience... it would help combat his loneliness.
"Thank you so much... I hope he wasn't too much of a hassle." The woman says gratefully as she picks up "Charles", making SURE he can't run away AGAIN.
"Ah, no worries, he wasn't. Though I'm glad he can be reunited with his mama..." The woman smiles fondly upon hearing Baldi's words.
Baldi feels a newfound warmth swell in his heart. "WOW. Could this... be a meet-cute?" The thought flashes inside his mind, but he blinks it away quickly, downplaying it immediately.
Until... a man approaches behind the woman with a smile, placing his hand on her shoulder, looking down at "Charles." "Nearly gave your mother a heart attack," the man lightly chuckles.
Baldi's heart drops, though he knew he should've known... (POOR BALDI) The woman softly laughs and scratches the iguana's chin; the iguana closes his eyes and enjoys the feeling. "Thank you for all your help," the man smiles at Baldi, Baldi returns the polite smile with a tight nod.
Before they could resume their couple walk, Baldi exclaims. "Wait! I- uh. What's his name? The iguana..." He awkwardly points to him.
"Oh... this is Dennis. Y'know... like Dennis the Menace." The woman lightly chuckles.
Baldi softly laughs, "WOW, uh. He sure lives up to his name..." They both nod politely to Baldi, thanking him again, before turning around to continue their day. Now... It's just Baldi, yet again... :(
"Ah... well. I better find a comfy spot, I suppose..." Baldi quietly says to himself. He wants a spot that's not entirely secluded but a safe distance from others at the same time. It was odd. Baldi desires connection, and yet he lets his work at the school consume his entire life. It's all he feels he's accomplished in his lifetime; if he's not teaching math, then what is he? What purpose does he have? Is purely just existing enough??? The immense, yet fleeting joy he feels is when he rewards kids with those quarters, out of his own wallet. He's just standing there on the side of the path as his brain rambles on in this moment. He shakes his head lightly, snapping out of it. "Right... a spot."
He walks off the cobblestone path onto the grass, finding a spot high enough for a nice view of the park and all the commotion that resides in it. "This'll do," Baldi says to himself as he lays out his blanket onto the grass. The wind picks up slight speed, and he feels his strand of hair flowing effortlessly. He finally sits down, feeling a wave of calm serenity he doesn't recall feeling in what felt like forever. He opens up a bag of his cheese doodles and pops one in his mouth, the cheesy flavor bursting on his taste buds. (... alright) Then, he opens up his strawberries and pairs them with his cheese doodle. FOODGASM ON SPOT... just kidding, but it does taste really good.
He gazes up at the lush trees and the woodland creatures occupying them. Until... he begins to see nature's natural pairing between species. Two squirrels are scurrying up a tree to the right, playfully chasing each other up it. Birds flying between each tree, meeting in mid air, swirling around each other in a serenading dance. He looks down, trying to avoid the image in front of him. But upon looking down, EVEN THE FLOWERS ARE PAIRED TOGETHER, right beside him. "Is this a cruel joke???" Baldi asks the universe.
He feels that anytime he tries to outrun his loneliness, life will always find a way to remind him that love is in the air all around him. And yet he still hasn't been bitten by the love bug. It's okay... he heard it has STD's anyway.
A few more quiet moments passed, until... he heard a buzzing on his right side. Angry... buzzing?
"Ah, jeez! Can't a guy get a break around here...?" A smooth, almost... jazzy voice emerges near the flowers.
Baldi looks around, searching for where this voice could be coming from exactly. Another angry buzz, more forceful this time, can be heard from a lone pink flower, adjacent to the flower pairings. A bee's butt (GYATT. I'm sorry) is sticking out the middle of the flower, the bee's legs flailing, frustrated and helpless.
"Ya think you can help me out here?? ANYONE?" The bee continues his panicked questions as Baldi's eyes widen in surprise, leaning over by the flower.
"Here! Let me help!" Baldi quickly reaches over and unwraps the petals of the flower, hoping to give more wiggle room to the bee. The bee then finally pops out with a disgruntled but relieved expression. His helmet is not secure on his head, and his antennas are crooked. He takes his helmet off with an annoyed look paired with dark circles, his hair a mess, certainly not looking his best. Yet, Baldi can't help the overwhelming rush of emotion filling his heart upon seeing the sight. He tries to mask his shock by claiming in his mind it's regarding the unexpected situation, but really, it's his heart finally awakening to a call he's always known.
The bee quickly opens up a bee-sized jar of honey, dumping the honey on his hands, and smoothing back his hair, also fixing his antennas in the process. "Jee, thanks. Thought I was gonna be there all night again..." The bee pipes up, smoothing out his pollen jock jacket.
"All night...? How'd this even happen?" Baldi asks curiously.
"Stupid pollen jocks, always wanting to prank the little guy..." He buzzes forward, pointing his finger and scolding at nothing in the air. "WELL, I'LL TELL YA WHAT. I *AM* A POLLEN JOCK DAMMIT. JUST YOU WAIT TILL THE GENERAL HEARS ABOUT THIS ONE."
Baldi blinks awkwardly. He thought maybe he wasn't seeing things clearly, like this bee, so he slowly brought a cheese doodle to his mouth instead. The bee looks over, realizing how insane he might seem. He bashfully runs his hand through his hair. "Sorry... sleep deprivation is a crazy thing, I'll tell ya that." An awkward chuckle escapes his lips.
"You bet. I'd slap a dozen more kids with my ruler if I don't have my morning coffee." Baldi lightly laughs at his own cringe millennial joke.
The bee softly laughs, "ahh... yeah." He puts his hands on his hips, looking down at the grass below him.
It grows awkwardly quiet, and even though there's a nice wind chill, Baldi can't help but feel the immense heat growing between the two. Baldi quickly looks down at the strawberries instead, his cheeks lightly flushing.
"Uh... Barry. Barry Bee Benson..." The bee pipes up, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand, his other extended in a polite gesture.
Baldi smiles upon learning the bee's name, offering his hand as well, lightly shaking it. "Baldi's Basics in Education and Learning! That's me!"
"Pleasure to meet ya! Think I'll just stick with callin' ya Baldi from now on," Barry softly laughs.
"Fine by me. It's sure a pleasure to meet you too!" Baldi has a slight smirk while saying it... But you'd only catch his implication if you knew him.
Barry nods, and then another sigh. "Well... I uh. I don't know how to return the favor! I should be headin' back by now..."
Baldi's slight smirk falters. This is the most alive he's felt in months, as brief as this interaction was. Barry notices Baldi's expression and asks softly, a hint of sympathy in his voice. "You... uh. Got anyone here with you?"
Baldi looks away while he answers, hiding his vulnerability with a sigh and a mumbled, "No." His strand of hair drooped, matching his sadness.
A few more awkward seconds pass until Baldi hears buzzing closer to where he's sitting on his blanket. He quickly looks over with widened eyes. Barry decided to sit down beside Baldi, taking out his emergency honey jar (the one he used to slick back his hair), and gave Baldi a fond smile. "Thought your strawberries could use a little honey..."
Baldi's heart swelled at the endearing gesture, his heart growing like the Grinch's heart on Christmas Day. (He should call up the Grinch soon, see what's going on in Whoville nowadays.) Barry wasn't the best with words, but his actions are what count.
Baldi hands Barry a WHOLE STRAWBERRY, and it feels like the start of something new. As they peered ahead to the park's beautiful scenery. They began talking while they ate, through shared laughs and smiles that would make the highlight of Baldi's week. He even got Barry to try BSODA, but he can't drink carbonated drinks all like that or else he'll be BUZZED for hours... his words.
Once the conversation began to trail off, they sat in comfortable silence, gazing upon all that nature has to offer. Until... Barry looks over to Baldi, breaking it.
"So... I've been meaning to ask..." He pauses for dramatic effect. "Ya like jazz?" He asks with a hinting tone, making Baldi blush.
"Uhh... I don't mind it. Why do you ask?" Baldi's mind flashes an image of him and Barry dancing together to some jazz music, but he quickly blinks it away as he avoids eye contact.
Barry started to feel the tension increase within himself... he began to awkwardly tap his thumbs together. "Ah.. just curious is all." He turns his head away, peering at the trees. "Just feels good to know friends who also like jazz... yknow?"
Right. Friends... Baldi's heart flips in that moment. There goes Baldi's imaginative mind running haywire with delusional possibilities. Multiple voices run in his mind, his logical side rationalizing that they JUST met, while his emotional side yearns for something more. Baldi got so caught up in his own mind that he didn't realize Barry was waiting for a response.
"Oh! Right... haha. Yeah, it's nice when they share your interests." Baldi flashes a tight smile.
Barry slightly smiles, then looks down at his thumbs that he's been absent-mindedly tapping, and he finally stops them. "Soo.. uh. I told ya I'm a pollen jock... but why do ya slap kids with rulers?? Was that just a joke.. haha??"
Baldi's eyes widen as he lightly taps his forehead, forgetting to provide Barry with context on his joke. "OH, yes.. yes. That- That was a joke!" (for now...) He reiterates, "I'm a teacher!"
"Ahh! Explains the long title ya told me." Barry lightly chuckles, then sips a drop of some of the BSDODA, shaking off the feeling after consuming the fizz.
Baldi chuckles to himself, "Yep. I'm a math teacher specifically. I love to teach." He rubs the back of his neck with a bashful smile.
"Oh, wow! Back in hive-school, math was my favorite subject!" Barry excitedly gleams, thinking back to fond memories, and a moment of recognition crosses Baldi's features.
"Really?!! WOW, which part? Trigonometry? Calculus? Geometry?" Baldi searches his eyes.
"Oh, we were taught ALL abt hexagons. Y'know, measuring how much honey to fill 'em, how many in a row, the circumference... the list goes on! Just prepares you for working at Honex like me!" Barry explains while waving his hand.
Baldi nods as he retains the information; he's always been fascinated by shapes, especially in his youth. "Interesting! Sounds like solid schooling to prepare the hive..." Baldi's words trail off at the end of his sentence. He didn't want to seem rude by not acknowledging what Barry said, but he also tends to overthink his responses. Plus, he didn't know when to say his love of rectangles instead of hexagons... so he just blurted out, "I REALLY LOVE RECTANGLES!"
Barry blinked a few times, caught off guard by Baldi's sudden enthusiasm. Baldi, on the other hand, felt himself blushing and quickly gave *some* explanation. "Because of books! Books... rectangles remind me of books! The shape..."
Barry softly chuckled to himself before responding. "Hell yeah, Baldi. We should have a toast to that. Raise it high to hexagons and rectangles!" Barry flies up off the blanket and raises his droplet of BSDODA in his hand towards the setting sky. Baldi begins uncontrollably giggling as he raises his soda, and as Barry does the countdown in that unforgettable voice of his, they take a sip.
As Barry shakes off the electrifying buzz, a sudden voice calls his name in a demanding tone. "BARRY. We've been searching all over for you. Quit slacking off and get back to the hive!" A pollen jock angrily buzzes with his arms crossed, annoyed that he had to be the one sent out to find him. Barry, who slicked his antennas back with an annoyed expression, felt his wings rev up as they matched his growing irritation.
"Slackin'?!" Barry buzzed closer to the other pollen jock, even though Barry was just half his size. "SLACKING?! You were the guys who shoved me in that flower all night! If it wasn't for..." Barry pauses, looking over his shoulder, his eyes meeting Baldi's for a moment as he points. He looks back at the other pollen jock, who is pinching the bridge of his nose, seemingly over this situation. "...THIS NICE GUY, then WHO KNOWS how long I would've been there!"
"Alright, alright, Barry." The pollen jock relents, putting his hands up in a surrendering gesture, though he eye-rolls. "You win, we're sorry."
"No! NO! Now ya GOT me revved up!" Barry yells as he buzzes around angrily, his movements a bit sloppier from all that BSODA he drank. "OOO. I'm- I gotta go to the general... HELL, MAYBE EVEN the mayor?? Gonna write a LONG paragraph on how you could LOSE your jobs for the mistreatment of others-"
"BARRY." The pollen jock booms over Barry's fiery rambling. "WHAT??" Barry asks, his arms now folded.
"You can rant and bitch all the way there for all I care. The general wants YOU. Let's just go. Say bye to your new friend." The pollen jock huffs, turning around to the direction of their hive.
Barry sighs and hesitates to put his helmet back on, before he finally does. Baldi can only hope Barry enjoyed this evening with him as much as he did, even if the ending isn't how Baldi imagined. Barry turns to Baldi. "Sorry to leave like this, Baldi... I really gotta go now. We'll catch up sometime!" Barry throws cringy finger guns and a wink before flying over quickly near the other pollen jock.
Baldi holds out his hand. "I- uh- WAIT. Um... your number??" Barry freezes upon hearing this; the pollen jock raises his eyebrow, eyeing between the two.
"Oh god... I hope he didn't take that the wrong way... It's JUST friendly.. I mean. Friends exchange numbers all the time! NOT like a date thing!!" Baldi thinks in his head, his thoughts racing. "Then why is the pollen jock looking at us like that?? Is it my blushing?? AM I blushing?" Anxious thoughts fired off. He watches Barry open his mouth to respond, but no words come out.
Just then, more pollen jocks are seen in the distance, and they yell. "ALL POLLEN JOCKS TO THE HIVE." The one beside Barry reiterates with a firm nod, "Let's. Go."
Barry can't take the pressure of this moment any longer and begrudgingly zooms off in the direction of the other pollen jocks, not taking a chance to look back. He knew if he saw Baldi's face, he'd have second thoughts about his decision. Baldi felt his heart sink in disappointment as he watched the little bee's body disappear into the distance.
Baldi went back home soon after, as darkness with occasional clouds blanketed the night sky. He went to sleep that night, not knowing if he'd ever see this Barry Bee Benson ever again, or if this was a rare moment of connection that he was lucky enough to come across, even for just a few hours.