Chapter Text
"Thank you for letting me stay for dinner," Nagito said with her usual smile, sliding off her school bag and blazer neatly onto the ground. "I really don't deserve such kindness from you."
"No problem. Ever since you said you couldn't cook for yourself, I knew I had to get you a homemade meal." Hajime tosses her bag onto the floor. "My mom loves when I have friends over, too. She gets super emotional about it."
Nagito plops down into Hajime's desk chair. "Meeting your parents... Wow, what an honor," she muses while absentmindedly digging into her bag.
"It's not that big a deal. My dad isn't even here anyway, he's working late. It'll just be us three."
"That sounds wonderful. It'll be my first dinner with a family in over 10 years!"
Hajime growls under her breath. "Your parents are dicks, abandoning you like that. Why would you leave your 8 year old all alone while you go off somewhere for work?"
"You can't really blame them, Hajime." She laughs. "It wasn't their fault."
"I guess. Still, when I meet them, they're getting a fist to the face."
"Mm. Do you mind if I start on some homework? I usually do it right when I get home." Nagito is quick to change the conversation. She doesn't even wait for an answer as she pulls the worksheet out of her organized bag, setting it on Hajime's desk as if it was her own.
"Nope," Hajime says as she lays stomach down in her bed. "I'll just watch something on my phone while I wait."
Hajime would never admit it, but she really liked moments like this. The quiet hours where they could sit in tandem, silently working on their own things. It was nice company, and her friend was always a sight for sore eyes.
Hajime's gaze shifted to Nagito. She always was easy to look at. She was pretty, far prettier than Hajime was, with long graceful legs and dense white curls that fluttered down her back. She had pale skin and pink lips and thick eyelashes that Hajime always stared at in jealousy. She could probably have a career as a model if it wasn't for her personality.
Sometimes, Hajime was selfishly glad that Nagito was only friends with her. Some weird possessive urge took over whenever she thought of her becoming close with someone else, especially romantically. That cruel part of her wanted Nagito to be hers, and hers alone, even if that meant getting annoyed with overzealous hope speak from time to time.
"What's wrong?" Nagito asks in a quiet, unfocused voice.
"Nothing. Why?" Hajime averts her eyes and hides her flush. Although Nagito would probably be into it, she shouldn't make her possession over her friend public. It was kinda embarrassing.
"You were staring at me, right? You're not very good at hiding it, haha," She says lightly. "Am I bothering you? Sorry, I can leave if you'd like. I can even go drown myself in the lake outside, if you want."
"No, don't do that, my mom would be pissed. I was just waiting for you to be done." She goes back to staring at her phone, wondering how much more of Nagito's self deprication she could deal with today. Hajime wondered if Nagito really would do something like that if she asked her...
"What luck! I just finished." Nagito tucks the completed sheet back into a folder. "Thanks for letting me do this, even if it was a total waste of your time."
"That was quick." Hajime rose back up to sitting as Nagito placed herself next to her.
"Math never really bothered me," She replies, fiddling with the ends of her hair. She looked cute when she smiled like that, her cheeks turning a soft shade of rose.
Hajime groans. "Ughh, I wish. I've always sucked at it."
"Haha, true, I've had to help you most of the time. I never mind, though. Anything to be of use to someone like you." Nagito takes one of Hajime's hands in her own. It's cold, like usual, her long black nails pressing into her skin. But something about the way her fingers wrapped around her was intimate. Hajime averts her eyes but doesn't pull away. This feels weird, she thinks.
"Hajime, are you a virgin?"
She nearly jumps out of her skin. "H...huh??"
"Ahh, was that a bad question to ask? Sorry." She takes her hand back. Hajime can still feel the ghost of her touch. "I was just thinking of what other girls talk about when they hang out."
"No, it's, um, fine, I guess." Hajime coughs. "I am. If it matters."
"What a coincidence! I am too." Nagito says cheerfully. At that Hajime isn't surprised. Nagito was pretty, sure, like a perfect porecelain doll, but she was so sick in the head it would be a miracle if she got into a relationship. Unless someone was super into that stuff, which would be ridiculous. Obviously.
"Have you ever thought about it? Sex, I mean," Nagito asks again. Her words make Hajime's already bright flush get redder and a bead of sweat trickle from her hairline.
Yeah, she had thought about it. Almost every night. She was a teenager, after all, so things like that came naturally to her.
Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, she imagined Nagito under her, hot and panting and begging her to fuck her. But it wasn't like she liked her or anything, that was just a fantasy. She could never be with Nagito, anyway, it would get annoying pretty quickly.
She was too gorgeous, too. No matter how much Nagito claimed Hajime was too good for her, she couldn't help think it was the other way around. In appearance, at least.
"You answer first," she finally stutters.
"Sure. I think about it all the time." She answers obnoxiously casually. "With you, usually."
Hajime has completely stopped functioning. What the hell was she talking about? Why would she want to... What??
"I said something weird again, didn't I?" She frowns, but it has more of a playful lilt to it this time.
"I... Yeah. You don't just admit stuff like that..." Hajime mutters. Her thoughts are running rampant now, drifting to all the times she imagined her friend in her secret fantasies.
"Sorry, sorry. I'm not used to this stuff yet, I guess." Nagito looks at her with curious eyes, as if trying to figure her out. Knowing her, she could solve Hajime immediately. It was one of those quirks of hers that drove her up the wall.
"Whatever." Hajime avoids her gaze. "...I think about it a lot too, if it makes you feel better."
Nagito's hand drifts to her waist. "With me?"
"Not your business," Hajime tries to say, but it was too late. Nagito was sitting in her lap now, legs wrapped around her waist, lips dangerously close to her face. They stared at each other, locked in a confused, dreamy haze, wondering who would make the first move.
Hajime doesn't think she's been this horny before. Having soft thighs surround her, gentle fingers grazing her jaw, desperate eyes look into her own, a firm hand grabbing her ass, it was all too much. She felt the heat in her body and the slick in her underwear hit her, and she couldn't stand sitting still anymore. She pulls Nagito closer and their lips graze once, twice-
"Girls! Time for dinner!"
Hajime yelps and shoves Nagito off of her, who lands with a discomforting thump on the floor. She groans, grabbing her head in pain.
"Shit, sorry," Hajime says, pulling her friend up off the ground. She tumbles into her arms awkwardly, and somehow her hands end up around her waist as they stare into each other's eyes again. Hajime couldn't find it in herself to look away.
Nagito smiles carefreely. "It's okay, I've been through worse." Her hands drop from Hajime's waist, which she expects, but she can't help but feel disappointed. "What are we having for dinner tonight?"
"Uhh, curry, I think. My mom makes it special."
"Let's head down, then. I don't want to let her hard work go to waste."
"S-Sure."
They walk down the stairs in embarrassed silence. Hajime starts to wonder if Nagito regrets what she told her. It's really not normal to ask your friend to have sex with you, especially on some random Thursday.
But Nagito never was normal, was she?
"Took you two long enough!" Hajime's mom grins, playfully tapping her daughter on the head with a ladle. "I hope you weren't doing anything dangerous up there."
"Not at all. I was just helping her with some homework." Nagito says before Hajime can speak. She can lie so easily. It was scary how perfect her face was when telling a complete fib. She wondered if she's ever lied to her like that, with those innocent eyes.
"Oh, that's great! I'm so happy Hajime has found such good friends at school." Her mom drifts back to the kitchen, humming happily. "Just between you and me, Miss Komaeda, Hajime has been struggling in her classes a little. I'm glad you can help her out."
"Ugh, mom," Hajime groans as she hides her flush with her hand. Her two companions laugh cheerfully.
"The food is on the table. I made extra, so take seconds if you want. Komaeda, you can even take some home if you'd like."
"Oh, I couldn't. You've done enough for me already." Nagito sits down obediently, Hajime dragging after her like a tired dog. Although she's eaten her mother's curry dozens of times before, it smells extra delicious today. She wonders if her mom did something special to it, now that she has guests.
"Thank you for the food," The two girls say before breaking in to their meal. To Hajime, it tastes the same: a simple yet comforting meal that she always craves when wasting away the long hours at school. She watches Nagito instead of focusing on her dinner, nervous to see her reaction to her mother's cooking.
"This is delicious, Mrs. Hinata. I haven't had a meal like this in ages."
Hajime breathes out a sigh of relief. Thank God.
"Oh, it's nothing special," Her mom giggles bashfully. Seriously, what was her deal? She turned into a total schoolgirl in front of strangers. "I can teach you how to make it sometime, if you'd like."
"I would love that. I really appreciate your generosity. You're just like your daughter, you know that?"
The conversation faded into idle chitchat at Nagito continued to compliment Hajime's mom. The way her friend could butter someone up was impressive. Without the deranged hope stuff, Nagito could come off as the perfect girl.
Eventually Hajime stopped paying attention and instead focused on the way Nagito looked. She came off as all sunshine and roses now, hidden behind her carefree attitude and glistening smile. But Hajime knew. Only Hajime knew how sick she was.
She wondered if she would whimper and writhe in bed the same way she did when consumed by her delusions. If she would say her name the same way she did when talking about her beloved hope, in that needy, desperate tone. Hajime, Hajime, Hajime...
"Hajime?"
"Huh?"
The two had apparently asked Hajime a question. They looked at her with eager eyes.
"Your mom was just suggesting I stay overnight. What do you think?"
Hajime's face turned bright red again. "Y..yeah, sure. If that's okay."
"Yay! I know you didn't prepare for this, Komaeda, so we have extra toothbrushes and face towels in the closet upstairs. For pajamas, I'm sure you can fit into Hajime's clothes. Right, Hajime?"
Hajime nods. She's a bit in shock at how fast the two became friends.
"Good. Text your parents to see, okay? I don't want anybody worrying about where you are."
Nagito shifts uncomfortably. "Ah, I live alone."
"You do? Oh, I'm sorry." Her mom frowns. "I won't ask what happened. Just come over more, okay? I'll cook for you whenever you want."
"You're too kind." Nagito gets up and carefully places her dirty dishes in the sink, waiting for Hajime to do the same.
Instead, she swallowed, frozen. When they got back up to her room, what was going to happen? Were they going to forget all about their moment? That would be for the best, she thinks. No way would Nagito be allowed over anymore if they were caught. But she can't forget that heat inside of her when their lips touched.
"Not at all, not at all." Hajime's mom blushes bashfully. "Now, I'm going to clean up and go on my evening jog. I trust you girls to play nice, okay?"
"Okay, mom," nods Hajime, who's started following Nagito back up the stairs. "Bye, have fun."
"Love you!"
"Love you too," She says with a wave. She closes the door behind once they're in her room, suddenly surrounded by a heavy silence.
"Your mom is nice," Nagito says as she settles in on the bed.
"Yeah. I didn't expect you guys to get along so well."
"Me neither. Usually I'm pretty detestable."
"Only sometimes," Hajime smirks. She's begun rooting through her clothes, trying to find a pair of pajamas that were clean enough to wear. "I'm gonna change, so don't look."
"Why? I really don't mind." Hajime doesn't need to turn around to know that Nagito is fully staring, watching her as she starts to unbutton her shirt. It would make her mad if she wasn't so aroused.
"No, like, I mind." She lies. Hajime absentmindedly wonders what Nagito would say if she saw her naked. Probably how hopeful she was, or something stupid like that...
"Alright." Nagito (assumedly) turns around, and Hajime can get dressed in peace.
"I'll find something for you, too," she says as she tugs on a pair of sweat shorts and a tank top. "Do you mind if I wear a bra or not?"
"Thank you. And please don't," Nagito states. Hajime can hear the grin in her voice.
"Yeah yeah. I'm done now." Hajime plops near Nagito on the bed. "There's some pajama pants and a t shirt on the top of the dresser for you, if you want."
"Wow!" Nagito touches her tan skin with her skinny fingers. "You look stunning, Hajime. Even more than usual." She looks at her with wide, honest eyes, the ones that could make Hajime melt.
But she doesn't respond. She can't find it in herself to believe Nagito. She's not pretty, not really. Especially not compared to her. Hajime thinks back on their conversation with her mom. That bold faced, confident lie she told then should've been a sign. There was no way she could find Hajime beautiful.
Either Nagito doesn't notice or doesn't care, because she changes the topic before the silence can get awkward. "I'll change my clothes, too. You don't need to turn around or anything."
Hajime knows she should look away when Nagito starts stripping, but she can't bring herself to. She's pretty sure she wanted that, anyway, as her teasingly slow movements bring Hajime to the edge of her seat as she watches.
Finally, Nagito's clothes come off to reveal a lacy black bra and panty set, one that fits her complexion perfectly.
"What's the occasion?"
Nagito smiles. "Seeing you, of course. I thought my luck might pay off today." She kicks her skirt off of her body and gazes at the full length mirror, looking at Hajime's dazed expression behind her. "Haha, you really have no shame, Hajime. I suppose I'm not that hideous to look at, with the way you're eyeing me up."
"Shut up," Hajime stutters as she hides her face from the view of the mirror. "Just put your clothes on already."
"You don't like me like this? That's a shame. But if you insist..."
"No!" Hajime yelps, and cringes at her own desperation. "I-I mean, if you don't want to, it means I have less laundry to do anyway."
Nagito returns to the bed with a smug expression. "Anything to help you out. Now, should we continue from before?"
"I, um," Hajime turns an electric shade of red. before she can reply, Nagito pushes her down onto the bed, hands already tracing her sensitive waist. She bites down her arousal. This was normal, right? Girls did this at sleepovers all the time. She just needed to get used to it.
"Use me, Hajime." Nagito muses in a low, begging voice. "However you want. Please."
A needy groan escapes Hajime's lips. She didn't really know how sex worked all that well, but God, she was more than willing to find out right now. She pulled Nagito close, close enough to feel her breath on her neck, and whispered,
"Kiss me."
That was usually how it started, right? At least, in movies and stuff. Nagito sure seemed to think so, because she desperately started kissing her neck. Her teeth grazed against Hajime's tanned flesh, and she couldn't help but wonder how it would feel if they sank in.
Soon, they couldn't take it anymore and found each other's mouths, melting into a mess of heavy breathing and sloppy tounging. Neither of them were very good, but they couldn't care less. Nothing had felt this pleasureable to them before.
"You're a freak," Hajime murmurs in between kisses. "How much have you thought about stuff like this?"
Nagito whimpers in response, which slips Hajime deeper into arousal. "Haah... Every night... With you..."
It was enthralling to watch Nagito fade into a dazed, horny version of herself, one completely compliant to Hajime's will. Usually Nagito was the one talking circles around her, but this time, it was different. There was a lot of teasing to catch up on.
"Pervert."
Her friend let out another ungodly noise. "I am... I am, I'm disgusting... Mmh... Unworthy... Trash..." Her hands twitch at Hajime's sides as if they're holding back. "I'm so selfish... A...all I want to do is touch you... Someone like me...mm... Could... Neve..r..."
"Shut up," Hajime said, taking a fistful of Nagito's hair and yanking it. She was met with another loud, desperate moan, and Hajime mentally added masochism to Nagito's quickly growing kink list. "You said you wanted me to use you, right?"
"Yes, yes, yes, please," She begs.
Another wave of pleasure throbs in Hajime's stomach. "T..then be useful." Her voice quivers, and wether it's from nervousness or horniness, she isn't sure. "Make me feel good."
Nagito is quick to work. She automatically yanks off Hajime's flimsy tank top and rubs her thumbs over her hardening nipples. Drool mindlessly drips down her mouth as she stares, helpless, at her chest.
"You're so perfect," She murmurs over Hajime's soft moans. "Every inch of your body is beautiful... You truly are the embodiment of hope..."
Hajime tugged on Nagito's hair again, this time annoyed. "Stop with all the hope stuff."
"But-"
"I don't want you thinking of anything else but me." She said with false confidence. It seemed to turn Nagito on well enough, as she stopped her protests almost immediately.
"Anything to please you," she smiled, and brought her mouth to Hajime's tit.
A loud, surprised moan escaped her mouth, and Hajime had to cover it to make sure the neighbors wouldn't hear. It felt so good, so much better than she expected it to. Her other hand dropped to Nagito's back, bitten nails dragging across her perfect skin.
"Fuck..." Hajime groaned. She wasn't able to stop her hips from rutting up onto Nagito's leg, desperate for any friction she could get. "God, that feels good..."
Nagito lets out little moans as she nurses Hajime's boobs, making practiced circles with her tongue. She wonders how many times she's practiced this in her mind, how obsessed she was with her...
"Nnh..." She lets out a groan as Nagito's knee digs in between her legs. The pressure makes her hips jerk up involuntarily, which in turn makes pleasure course through her body. What she wouldn't give to have her friend's mouth up against her clit, eating her like she was starving.
"Please," Nagito whimpers, almost on cue. "I need to taste you, please..."
"So desperate," Hajime pants. She knows she's a hypocrite. She wants this more than anything, so much so that her body feels like it's going to overheat. But some part of her can't let Nagito win. She isn't done messing with her yet. "Only if you beg for it."
Nagito listens without question. "Please. Please, please, please, I can't take it," she whines. "You're so full of hope, I can't believe that you're real... That you're allowing disgusting filth like me to touch you... Aah... Just looking at you is driving me crazy... I can't imagine anything better than having someone like me serve you... Please, Hajime, please..."
Hajime really can't take it now. She nods weakly at Nagito, who starts fumbling off her shorts and underwear, both of which were much less pristine than Nagito's fancy lingerie. She's a bit embarrassed, but her arousal is too strong now to give into her shame. All she can do now is lift up her hips and let Nagito take over.
Just as she expected, Nagito devours her. Her tongue explores every area of Hajime's pussy, searching for the areas that made her moan the loudest. She's quick to discover the sensitive spots of Hajime as usual, making her head fuzzy with lust.
“My god… oh my god, mmh, Nagito…” Hajime can't hold back her moans anymore as Nagito fucks her senseless. For some reason, Nagito moans back. It feels better than she could ever imagine.
As soon as Nagito starts sucking on her clit, she knows it's over. She's turned into a complete horny wreck, fully dependent on her friend's touch. She could tell she felt the same, too, with the ways Nagito's eyes started to glaze over as she mindlessly ate Hajime out.
This was paradise. Her mind came to a fuzzy blank as she let the pleasure wash over her like beach waves. Nagito had won again, turning her once again into an idiot. But she didn't really mind this time. If losing brought her this much happiness, she could do it forever.
She finished not long after, collapsing to the bed with a soft flump. She could've sworn she passed out for a second as she lay there, helpless, feeling the cool air on her skin as Nagito pulled away.
“Mm… what the hell.” Hajime groans as she comes back to her senses. “Did we really just do that…?”
Nagito doesn't respond. Her hair covers her face like a waterfall, leaving her expression unreadable. The only signs of life she gives are the shaking of her shoulders and her labored breathing.
Hajime's heart drops. “Nagito?”
She's ruined everything, hasn't she? Her friend will never look at her the same way again. All of this because she got horny and couldn't control herself. Now Nagito hates her, now she really sees her as the ugly, stupid, useless reserve course student she really is-
Nagito began to cough.
Well, it wasn't really coughing. Hajime didn't know how to describe it, really, maybe something more akin to a dry wheeze? She knew Nagito had medical problems and a pretty shitty immune system to boot. Maybe all that activity got her sick? Or, oh, shit, was this how STDs worked? She'd never had sex before, could she have given Nagito one of those??
There was only one way to check. Hajime brushed Nagito’s curls out of her face with shaking hands, gulping down anxiety as she gazed at her eyes.
Only darkness gazed back. Her friend’s face, usually smiley and perfect, was twisted into a horrible grin. Only then did Hajime realize that those weren't coughs, they were laughs, painful, dry, breathless laughs that tore through her chest. Tired tears dripped from her once green eyes, which now reflected dark mirrors of black.
Hajime was terrified. She had never seen her friend like this, or anyone like this. What was wrong with her? What was happening? Was this her fault? What should she do, what should she do, what should she do?! Panic settled in, first in her mind, then in her body. Without thinking, she holds Nagito's head in her hands, a little tighter than she should.
“Nagito, what's wrong? What's happening to you?” She says, unable to keep the fear out of her voice.
“Hahaha, I'm just so happy…!” Nagito choked out. “I can see you like this, so full of hope because of me… it's so wonderful!! Hahaha, I feel like I'm gonna be sick!”
“I don't understand. What's going on?” Hajime said. Her voice has a tremble in it now. Sure, Nagito was weird sometimes, going off about hope and despair and the strange things she wanted to do. But this state was completely new to her, this delirious mental breakdown.
Was this what Nagito was really like? She wanted to rip that idea out of her head and stomp on it until it was dead. No way her friend was crazy like this. She was normal. As normal as she could be.
“Nobody has seen me like this before.” Nagito's hands move to squeeze Hajime's arms. Her nails are long and sharp and dig into Hajime's skin. Blood flowers under her fingertips.
Nagito’s grin widens. “You must hate me now, don't you? How much misery does it bring you, to see how horrible your best friend is? Hahaha, I see it on your face. You look so sad, Hajime, it's almost enough to make me cry.”
Hajime tries to pull away, but her grip is too tight. Each little movement makes her sink her fingers in more. It's only now that Hajime really notices the terrible gashes in Nagito's arms, the ones that perfectly line up with her nails.
“Stop.” Hajime whimpers. She's never heard her voice so timid. “You're scaring me.”
“Am I?” Nagito rises to her full height. She isn't much taller than Hajime, only one or two inches, but from the way Hajime cowers from her one would think she's a giant. “Please don't be scared. I want to help you. I couldn't stand it if I brought you any pain.”
It registers in her head that she could die here. Her throat could be gashed open and her final moments would be her staring at someone she thought was a friend.
I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die.
Hajime doesn't feel the pain in her arms as Nagito's claws tear open her flesh. She shoves her off with all her might, pushing what once was her friend into the wall behind her bed. She lands with a loud crack and slumps over herself. Red drips down her perfect pale skin. Her eyes flutter closed.
Silence has taken over the room. Hajime can't even hear her own breathing as her legs give out. She sits on the floor, cold, bleeding, naked, and alone. Emotions all hit her at once, and she can feel white hot tears burn down her cheeks.
What did I just do?