Chapter Text
[09:23] hohohobi: dude where are you i’m freaking out
[09:23] hohohobi: how are you still not home!!!
[09:23] hohohobi: if you haven’t read this by 10 i’m calling the cops
[09:26] you: chill
[09:26] hohohobi: THANK GOD
[09:26] hohohobi: i thought the cute guy from last night turned out to be some sort of serial killer and murdered you in a creepy alleyway or maybe he was gonna send me a finger and hold you for ransom or omg
[09:27] hohohobi: where are you???
[09:30] you: mcd’s
[09:30] hohohobi: what
[09:32] you: im at mcdonalds
[09:33] hohohobi: you asshole i know what mcd’s means
[09:33] hohohobi: why are you at mcdonald’s at nine in the morning after a party you usually come straight back home after hooking up with someone i was all prepared to make you pancakes and shit
[09:34] hohohobi: i’m still talking to min yoongi right?? did aliens abduct you and somehow made you willing to stay outside for this long???
[09:34] hohohobi: hold up you’re not alone are you that’d be kind of sad. alone at mcd’s at 9:30 am
[09:36] you: no sherlock im not alone
[09:37] hohohobi: omfg
[09:37] hohohobi: ohhh my god
[09:37] hohohobi: are you still with him?????
[09:38] you: look
[09:38] hohohobi: omg YOU ARE
[09:38] hohohobi: you SPENT THE ENTIRE NIGHT with someone
[09:39] you: will you shut the fuck up for two seconds and let me explain
[09:39] hohohobi: there’s an explanation oh ok i’m ready
[09:40] you: so
[09:41] you: in the middle of pounding my asshole
[09:41] you: he stopped and said “do you wanna get breakfast after this?”
[09:42] hohohobi: omfG
[09:42] you: and like who am i to say no to free breakfast food??
[09:43] you: so we got mcds breakfast which is the best breakfast so theres no reason to yell at me i feel like ive made all the right decisions
[09:43] hohohobi: ok whatever you say yoongles
[09:43] you: dont
[09:44] hohohobi: i’ll let you enjoy your egg mcmuffin in peace now. just one last thing
[09:44] hohohobi: which date should i save for the wedding?
Glaring at his phone, Yoongi contemplates sending a hearty fuck you back at Hoseok, but then he decides that not answering at all would be the more devastating choice. Might save him some dignity, too. If he has any of that left.
“Somethin’ wrong?” Taehyung asks across the table with a mouthful of extra sweet McGriddles. His lips are glistening with grease when Yoongi looks up, and there’s a fleck of syrup on his cheek, and it’s kind of hard to believe right now that this is the guy that made Yoongi swear himself raw when his orgasm hit just a few hours ago.
“No,” he shakes his head and regrets it immediately afterwards, because it’s still aching a little. He’s going to need more coffee. “My roommate’s just wondering where I am.”
“Oh.” Taehyung swallows, but promptly takes the next bite, so his mouth is full once more when he speaks again. “Well, you’ll probably go home after this, right?”
For a second, Yoongi just looks at him. He feels a bit like punching himself in the face for even thinking about giving the kid his number before leaving, for booty call purposes only, obviously, nothing more, but he usually doesn’t even do that. And he won’t do it this time either, Taehyung doesn’t seem to feel inclined to give him his own number anyway, and with the way college parties tend to be, Yoongi usually ends up seeing his one night stands again sooner or later even without exchanging numbers. He’s not going to break his habit here just because someone bought him coffee and McMuffins. So, he just nods instead.
Taehyung nods too, seemingly content with that answer, so Yoongi guesses they’re on the same page here. “Man, I gotta say, though,” he says, mouth finally empty, long fingers playing with his coke. “This turned out to be one of the best spontaneous hookups I’ve ever had.”
Yoongi looks down at his almost empty tray of cheap fast food breakfast and snorts. “Yeah, same here.”
The second he opens the door to the dorm room he shares with Hoseok approximately one hour later, he’s greeted with a horrible rendition of the wedding march played from Hoseok’s phone.
One week later, Hoseok still swears Yoongi broke one of his ribs.