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I
Jean’s arm twitched again. He sucked in a breath and carefully tried to pull it out from underneath the deadweight that was currently crushing it. He could feel little needles beginning to prick at his skin.
~Fantastic~ he thought to himself. ~My arm will have to be amputated because the kid is cutting off the circulation~
He had pulled the arm out from underneath Hisui, slowly so he wouldn’t wake the kid. Of course, he got to the wrist when Hisui decided it would be a good time to roll over, right into Jean’s chest. Hisui reached out and grabbed Jean’s shirt. Jean took his free arm and gently tried to push Hisui off. Hisui muttered in his sleep. For a moment, Jean was sure the kid would wake up. He held his breath again, his heart beating in his chest.
Hisui didn’t wake up. He just burrowed more into Jean’s torso, refusing to let go. Jean looked around hoping someone would do something to get the kid off him. His eyes zoomed in on Yassen, who had just retuned from his watch.
“Yassen,” Jean hissed. Yassen groaned and flopped down on his hammock.
“Not now. Too tired,” he mumbled into the pillow. Jean picked up a shirt and launched it at him.
“Yassen, I need your help,” he hissed again. The shirt hit Yassen’s head and fell to the floor.
“Are you going to give up?”
“Probably not.”
Yassen sighed and flopped out of bed, stumbling towards Jean. “What’s the matter?”
“What do I do?” Jean asked. Yassen stared at him for several seconds.
“About what?”
“About this!” Jean whispered, using his free arm to gesture at Hisui, who seemed to have made himself even smaller and latch onto Jean even more strongly. Yassen cocked his head to the side.
“What? You have a boner or something?” he asked.
“NO! That’s weird! He’s just a kid,” Jean cried. His eyes darted down to make sure Hisui was still asleep.
“Not from the kid, you idiot. You know what, forget the boner. That's not really a conversation I need to have with you. If it’s not that, then what is it?” Yassen grumbled.
“What do I do with him? He just latched onto me as soon as I got into bed and he won’t let go.” Hisui’s hand seemed to migrated to Jean’s shirtsleeve.
“He’s a kid. Kids like to cuddle. Just humor him until he rolls off or lets go,” Yassen said.
“But my arm is falling asleep. We’ll have to amputate it if this continues for much longer,” Jean said. He was already mourning the loss of his right arm. It was always by his side.
“Don’t be such a drama queen. If the kid bothers you that much then kick him off the bed,” Yassen said, beginning to make his way back to bed.
“That’s cruel. I’m not gonna do that,” Jean snapped. Yassen shrugged and flopped down once more.
“Then learn to fall asleep with him latched onto you like an octopus. Your like his teddy bear.”
“I am not a teddy bear,” Jean grumbled. But that thought did stick with him. Hisui was pressed awfully close to Jean. Maybe Yassen was right. Maybe to Hisui, Jean was like a big cuddly teddy bear that would protect him from all the monsters. Jean allowed his arm to wrap around Hisui’s thin shoulders. Once he got used to the position, it wasn’t actually that bad. It was actually sort of nice.
II
By the time they pulled into the next port Jean had come to two realizations. 1) Hisui really liked to cuddle with Jean at night. And 2) Hisui had a depressing childhood. The kid hadn’t done anything fun with his life. He never played games, never went to school, never did anything kid-like. Hell, even Jean, with his literal life of crime, had had some time when he would just run around like an idiot with his friends playing stupid games and laughing at corny jokes. Hisui did not.
Well no more. Jean took it upon himself to educate Hisui in the ways of being a kid. And what better way to be a kid than at the zoo. Most of the guys on the ship agreed it was a place they all had fond memories of growing up. And the port they were docking in was supposed to have a pretty nice one. So Jean grabbed Hisui and led him away, promising Ikuta that he would keep a close eye on the child.
“So you’ve never been to zoo before?” Jean asked. Hisui was trotting along beside him, looking every which way.
“Never. Is it going to be fun?” Hisui asked. He had taken ahold of Jean’s shirt so he wouldn’t get lost.
“Well I always found them fun. Either way, it’s nice being off the ship,” Jean said.
“I can’t wait,” Hisui replied, looking very excited. Jean couldn’t help but smile. He was going to help Hisui make up for he had missed in his younger years.
oOoOoOo
Hisui stomped ahead of Jean, thoroughly pissed for some reason. The fact that Jean couldn’t for the life of him figure out why Hisui was being so pissy just made him frustrated and angry.
Almost as soon as they entered the zoo Hisui’s whole mood had changed. He went from excitement to anger in a matter of seconds. Jean thought he was just going through one of those teenage mood swings, the too-cool-for-school ones that he often went through at that age and tried to get Hisui back to his old self. But the more time they spent in the zoo, the snappier Hisui became. They didn’t even make through half the zoo before Jean called it quits and dragged Hisui out of there.
And, on top of all that, Hisui refused to talk to Jean. And he would only glare at him. So, the pair stomped back towards the ship. Each extremely frustrated and angry with the other.
~Screw it. If he’s gonna be an ungrateful little brat, then the next time he can go off by himself. See if I care~ Jean thought to himself.
Once on the ship, Hisui stomped down to the hull. Jean went to sit next to Yassen who was writing in his journal.
“Well you look like a ball of sunshine,” Yassen said.
“That ungrateful, little brat. I try and do something nice for him and he acts like I insulted his mother or something,” Jean cried, running his hands over his face. Hisui was getting kicked off the bed tonight.
“Well, what happened?” Yassen said, looking up. Jean scrubbed a hand over his face.
“Well, he said he had never been to a zoo before so I took him—“
“Did he know what a zoo was?” Yassen asked.
“Well I assumed,” Jean grumbled. Yassen sucked in a breath.
“Yeah, you probably should have made sure he knew what that was before you dragged him to it,” he said.
“You’re not taking my side on this. Why are you not taking my side one this?” Jean said.
“Wow, you really have no idea, do you?” Yassen said. Jean shook his head.
“Why don’t you stop beating around the bush and tell me,” he hissed.
“Alright, alright. No need to bite my head off. Where was Hisui before he was on this ship?” Yassen asked. He leaned forward and looked directly at Jean.
“At a governor’s mansion?” Jean said. He didn’t see what this had to do with the brat’s attitude.
“Very good. Now, I’ll try and explain this as simply as possible,” Yassen said.
“I’m not a child. You don’t have to treat me like I’m a moron,” Jean snapped.
“I’m starting to think you might be.”
Jean glared at him.
“Alright. Alright. Before Hisui was on this ship, he was sold for a large sum of money to a very rich man where he was kept in a tiny cage as entertainment. Do you see how a zoo may not have been the best place to take him?” Yassen said.
Jean shook his head. “Not really.”
“Zoos are large places, where animals are kept in small cages, for entertainment,” Yassen said again, dragging out each word. Jean sat there for a minute, trying to work through what Yassen was saying. His eyes widened as he realized what he had put the kid through.
“Oh God. Hisui probably thought I was making fun of him or something,” Jean gasped. How could he have been so stupid? He should have easily been able to put two and two together. No wonder Hisui didn’t want to speak with him. Jean was surprised the kid remained as civil as he did, given the situation. Yassen patiently waited for his friend to finish making all the connections before continuing to write in his journal.
“You should probably apologize. He seems pretty forgiving,” Yassen said. Jean nodded and went to go find Hisui.
It didn’t take him long. The ship wasn’t really that big. He found him down in the kitchen chopping potatoes with a definite vengeance. Jean winced as he heard the unmistakable sounds of quiet sobs coming from the kid. Yeah, Hisui really did have every right to be mad with Jean. He only hoped he could make things right.
“Hisui?” he called carefully out. Hisui brought down the knife forcefully once more on a potato.
“What do you want?” he asked. He didn’t turn around, no doubt trying to hide the fact he was crying from Jean. Jean walked up behind Hisui and draped himself over the child, gently taking the knife from his hands.
“I wanted to apologize. I heard that you had never been to a zoo before and for me, as well as most of the guys here, zoos are happy memories. You get to see animals you couldn’t even dream of. You get to learn about other parts of the world. I didn’t even think about what had happened to you. I just wanted to do something that was normal for a kid your age,” Jean explained. Hisui reached up and scrubbed his eyes, trying to wipe away tears.
“You didn’t do it as a joke?” he asked, his voice was painfully small.
“No. I swear that was not my intention. I just wanted you to have fun. I never meant to hurt you or make you cry,” he said.
“I was crying because of the onions,” Hisui muttered.
“I’m pretty sure you were cutting potatoes,” Jean said. He smiled as Hisui relaxed back into his arms.
“I should have told you I was uncomfortable, instead of being so mean towards you,” Hisui said.
“How about tomorrow we do something else. I promise, there will be no cages of any kind,” Jean said. Hisui nodded.
“Sounds like fun.”
III
Jean wasn’t really sure where he went wrong this time. He stayed up that night double checking everything that could possibly trigger Hisui into flashback about his time at the mansion. He quickly crossed off the aquarium, not wanting to take a chance. Magic shows were out (the whole lady being trapped in a cage probably wouldn’t sit well with the kid). And Ikuta forbade Jean from taking Hisui to any bars and giving him alcohol. Ikuta also forbade Jean from taking Hisui to strip clubs. But really, did he look that irresponsible? Even Jean had standards.
Finally, Jean settled on seeing a play. So he and Hisui walked to the theater. And then walked back, Hisui not saying a word to him and jumping at every little noise. The play wasn’t even that scary. It wasn’t even that good!
They made their way back to the ship where Hisui went straight to Ikuta’s cabin. Yassen pulled Jean aside. Well, he more yanked Jean aside.
“What did you do to him?” Yassen hissed.
“I don’t know! He’s been like this ever since the play ended.”
“What did you take him to see? An accurate portrayal of torture techniques used on people suspected of treason?” Yassen hissed.
“No. It was a play about a small village that’s very poor. They are so poor that they end up selling one of the kids— oh. Yeah. I see why that may not have been the best choice of entertainment,” Jean said.
“Seriously? Once is an accident. Twice, I’m starting to think you like torturing this kid,” Yassen said.
“I was focused so much on what happened to him with the governor I completely forgot about the village,” Jean said, sinking down onto crate.
“Well, go apologize and hope Ikuta doesn’t rip your throat out for this one,” Yassen said, gesturing towards the cabin. Jean trudged up to the door, his feet feeling heavier with each step. He just wanted to be a good guardian for the kid. How did he screw up royally in the first week? He knocked on the door and entered.
Hisui was crying into Ikuta’s shoulder. The captain was stroking Hisui’s hair trying to calm him down.
“This better be good,” he growled, seeing that it was Jean.
“I just wanted to apologize again. Hisui, I am so sorry. I really wasn’t thinking on this one. And I checked to make sure there was no gore or anything. And there were other kids in the audience so I didn’t think it would be scary. And I didn’t even realize what it was about until I actually was telling Yassen about it. Really, I didn’t mean to hurt you again,” Jean rambled. Hisui looked up and sniffed.
~Good job, Jean. You made the kid cry twice in two days. This has got to be some kind of record~ Jean said to himself.
“It’s okay. I didn’t think you did it in purpose. It just brought up some bad memories.” Hisui sniffed again and rubbed his nose on his sleeve.
“Jean,” Ikuta said. Jean pulled his eyes away from the kid and glanced at Ikuta. He did not look happy.
“If this happens again—“ Ikuta didn’t need to finish the sentence. The glare in his eyes was evidence enough that Jean’s head would be on the chopping block if he made Hisui cry one more time.
“No problem, boss. I will not screw up again,” Jean said, slipping out of the door. Anyone who thought Ikuta wasn’t scary clearly never hurt something he loved. But Jean didn’t give up yet. He was going to become someone Hisui could rely on, someone Hisui could trust.
IV
Despite the previous evening being an utter disaster, Hisui still trotted along with Jean, Wood, and Yassen to finish picking up some supplies. Two more days and they would be gone from this disaster of a port! Dry land was overrated anyways.
“I’ll go pick up the meat, Wood, you go check to see how much longer for the supplies, and Jean and Hisui you pick up some dried fruits and vegetables,” Yassen said, reading off the list. “Meet back here in about twenty minutes,” he said heading off in one direction. Hisui and Jean began weaving their way through stalls. Hisui didn’t come down to sleep with Jean last night. Not that Jean expected him to. But it did help Jean realize just how much he was used to having Hisui draped over him, even if he hadn’t been on the ship for very long. He just had to show Hisui he wasn’t a threat.
“Hey, Jean?” Hisui said, his head still turning rapidly to try and get a good look at everything.
“Yeah kid?” Jean said, ruffling the wig. Hisui scowled at being called a kid.
“Do you know how to fight?” he asked. Jean couldn’t help but laugh.
“Of course I know how to fight! What kind of pirate would I be if I didn’t know how to fight?” he said, still laughing.
“But like, the kind of fighting that you do when someone goes to grab you and you toss them off,” Hisui said, his hands waving in the air.
“Oh, you mean self-defense. Yean, I’m pretty good with that.”
“Can you teach me some?” Hisui asked. Jean turned and stared at Hisui. Hisui lowered his eyes.
“I wanted to ask Ikuta, but I’m afraid he’ll say no. I don’t always want to be such an easy target. I thought that if I know something, I could stick up for myself better,” he explained. Jean stroked his chin thoughtfully.
“I guess it wouldn’t hurt to teach you something,” he said. “Let’s go over here. It’s more open and there are less people.” He led Hisui over to a park. A nice open area. He could teach Hisui how to block and punch properly. At the very least this would help give the kid some confidence. That’s what most fighting was anyways, confidence that you would beat the other guy.
“Alright, now stand in front of me. I’m gonna come at you. You do your best to block me,” Jean said.
“But I don’t know how?” Hisui said.
“Don’t worry. Most self-defense is just listening to your body and letting it react. You might know more than you think,” Jean said.
“Okay, I’m ready,” Hisui said, smiling at Jean.
oOoOoOo
~Shitshitshitshitshit!~ Jean cursed in his head. He was an idiot. A complete and utter idiot. Also, Ikuta was going to castrate him, tear off his arms and legs, cut out his tongue and then hang him from the mast. Hisui slipped once more in his arms. Jean stumbled forward and adjusted his grip. His arms were wrapped around Hisui’s stomach, both of Hisui’s hands were clutching his nose, trying to stop the bleeding.
“Hey, Jean!” Yassen called. He turned to see Wood and Yassen standing in their agreed meeting point. Yassen’s eyes widened.
“What the hell happened?” he cried, running up to the pair.
“Jean punched me,” Hisui said.
“You punched him!?” Yassen cried.
“It was an accident,” Jean said, hoping Yassen was in a forgiving mood.
“Please explain to me how you ‘accidently’ managed to punch a child who is half your height hard enough to make his nose bleed?” Yassen screeched. People were starting to stare at the group. If they kept this up, the authorities might be called in.
“To be fair, noses are incredibly easy to injure,” Jean said. Yassen let out a growl. Wood was peeling away Hisui’s hands to inspect the damage.
“I don’t think it’s broken,” he said. Hisui winced when Wood pressed lightly on it. “Though you’ll have a nice shiner for the next couple of days,” he continued thoughtfully.
“No! I don’t want him to have a shiner. I want the evidence that this happened to disappear!” Jean cried.
“We have to get him back to the boat and to Dom. He needs first aid,” Yassen said, picking up Hisui and carrying him towards the boat. Hisui wiped his nose, smearing blood over the rest of his face.
“Hisui, could you try to make it not look like I came at you with an axe?” Jean said weakly. He grabbed the meat Yassen had abandoned in favor for carrying Hisui and trotted after them.
“It’s really not so bad. It doesn’t even hurt that much,” Hisui said, Wood had managed to find a strip of clothe and was pressing it under Hisui’s nose.
Needless to say, Ikuta was not happy. He saw Yassen carrying Hisui to the ship and immediately zoomed in on Jean. Jean gave him a timid wave only to shrink further back under the glare.
An angry Ikuta was probably the scariest thing Jean had ever experienced, and he was almost beaten to death. Dom took Hisui to Ikuta’s cabin and began patching him up. Ikuta stalked up to him.
“You better have a good explanation for this,” Ikuta growled.
“Hisui was telling me how he didn’t know any self-defense. He wanted to learn something so if he was ever attacked again he could do a better job defending him. And, long story short, he didn’t block when I told him to block,” Jean finished weakly. Ikuta’s hands were still in fists, clenching so hard his knuckles were white. “Look, I know I messed up, but I was just trying to help the kid out. I didn’t mean to,” he said.
“Once, I’ll forgive. Twice, I become suspicious. But three times, Jean! It’s like you hate Hisui or something. What is up with you? You have never been this destructive towards another crewmember. I just, I just don’t know what to do with you.” Ikuta turned and walked away, leaving Jean standing there, covered in blood, wondering if maybe he wasn’t the best thing for Hisui.
V
He was sitting on the docks, watching the sunset, his feet in the water. He had been out here since this afternoon, thinking about what Ikuta had said. He really thought he could be someone Hisui could rely on. He thought he could be someone Hisui could trust to protect him and comfort him. But it was very clear that Jean was not that person.
He didn’t know why it was so important to him that Hisui like him. Normally, he wouldn’t care that much. He would be civil towards the other person and if a friendship formed, then great. If not, who cares? But Hisui was special. Hisui deserved to be cared for and treated like he was precious. And not precious like in the creepy way he had been with the governor.
Jean tossed a rock into the water. He wasn’t a brother. He couldn’t be. That wasn’t what he was made for. He was made to survive on his own and not let anyone drag him down. Maybe this was self-sabotage. His mind was forcing him to give the kid up before they both got hurt.
Jean was aware of another person beside him. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. He thought he made that quite clear with the whole sitting by himself and sulking bit. Nevertheless, the person sat down beside him. Jean turned to tell him to go away only to realize it was Hisui that was sitting next to him. Wood was right, there was a very colorful bruise underneath Hisui’s eye.
“I talked with Ikuta and calmed him down a bit,” Hisui said, still smiling as if he didn’t just get smacked.
“Thanks. You really didn’t have to do that. After all I’ve put you through, you should want me off the boat,” Jean grumbled. This port wasn’t so bad. It was fairly large, there were some cheap places to live. He could do worse.
“I don’t want you off the boat. You actually tried to make me happy. No one’s ever done that for me before. They either didn’t care or figured their happiness meant that I was also happy.”
Jean stared at the kid. He wasn’t meeting Jean’s eyes. Jean prayed to God that Hisui didn’t start crying. If he did, then Jean wouldn’t have to worry about finding a place to live because Ikuta would make sure he was living at the bottom of the ocean.
“That’s what it was like with the Governor. He would give me shiny jewels, fine silks, lots of presents. And he would always say how happy they made me. But those presents were never for me. I was just a doll for him to dress up as he wanted,” Hisui said, his voice was shaking more and more with each word. Jean lift his arm. He went to wrap around Hisui. He hesitated. Hisui’s head ducked lower and his shoulders began to shake even more.
~Screw it. I can’t mess up any more~ Jean said. He wrapped an arm around Hisui and pulled him close. Hisui turned his head into Jean’s chest and continued to cry.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that. I would have died in there,” Jean said quietly. Hisui was stronger than anyone on the ship gave him credit for. Hisui let out a snort.
“I fought back. I bit him a few times. And stabbed him with a fork,” Hisui said.
“Well then I guess I’m on your good side since you haven’t tried to kill me with the cutlery yet,” Jean said. Hisui rubbed his eyes.
“I think your trying too hard. I’m not high maintenance or anything. You don’t have to impress me,” he said. Jean rested his chin on top of Hisui’s head.
“Yeah. I know I’m not perfect at this whole, caring thing. But I really do want to try. You’re worth it, Hisui,” Jean said. Hisui gave a grunt as his reply. Jean felt Hisui beginning to sink into him, his body becoming heavier with each inhalation.
Jean contemplated shaking the kid awake and leading him back to the ship. But he stopped himself. Hisui obviously trusted Jean enough to fall asleep on him. The kid wasn’t that heavy. Jean could carry him back to the ship.
With Hisui, he didn’t have to try to bribe him into liking him. Jean just had to help Hisui feel safe and be there for him whenever the kid needed him.